How to keep tourists coming back:

Setting: Rain is coming down hard. In sheets. Torrents. Everyone is soaking wet.

Nice, old Bermudian man: (said in passing like every nice, old Bermudian men) Good day!

Tourist, an old lady: Next time, I'm going somewhere with no rain and no water.

Nice, old Bermudian man: Why don't you go to hell then?

Good one, good one!