I was at the pharmacy today and I noticed the latest edition of Instyle Weddings and my initial thought was, "Oh, I should pick that up for Engaged Friend." And then this little voice in the back of my head said, "And you'll read it before you give it to her." I wasn't shocked by this little voice because I've seen many wedding magazines that I've wanted to purchase for EF but I just haven't had the guts to buy them before because I knew she'd see right through my little lie.

But this time was different.

Don't get me wrong, I'm really very happy with Nicky the Fish. But I am in no way, shape or form ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage. But for some reason I just LOVE looking at wedding magazines. I don't know if it's just my obsession with magazines in general or whether I just really like weddings (actually, completely nix that last comment I don't have any love for a wedding). So, I really just don't know what my problem is.

But back to standing in front of the magazine display at the pharmacy. I knew that an older, gossipy co-worker was in the store at the same time so I milled around the magazines for longer than I should have pretending to be interested in the Muscle Man magazine (there really isn't a huge selection). I knew that she would see me, with cat like voracity, pick up that magazine and within minutes the whole office would be abuzz about my obvious engagement. I couldn't allow that to happen. So when I saw she'd left the store I picked it up and slipped into line hoping no one else I knew would waltz into the store, namely my boyfriend who works across the street, or anyone else for that matter. I've decided to that I need to start taking my addiction to the back streets of town, where no one I know will see me and I can live with my "habit" in secret. Because when you live on a small Island, news travels fast. At lightening speed.

So now I have the magazine. It's sitting on my desk, burning a hole through the bag just begging to be seen by a nosy co-worker or an equally nosy mother (I'll have to hide it under my mattress like porn until I'm done with it). I'll sneak it out late at night when no one is around and ohhh and ahhh at all the pretty, white dresses, which I refuse to ever wear one day, and I'll learn how to design my own invitations and it will be great. A secret, guilty pleasure.....