Why is it that when you're drunk you automatically are the smartest, most brilliant person at a party and clearly have the metabolism of an 8-year-old?

After about the 5th drink, this is approximately how the night evolves:

Yum. You can take a slice of that bread now. It's OK. You work out every now and again.

Or.

Tasty. You love digestive cookies dipped in chocolate. You'll have some. You work out daily.

Or.

Hot damn. That cheap, nasty strawberry cheesecake is calling you. It's OK, you've run a marathon.

Some how, you have also all of a sudden become the hottest person at the party. You can dance better than anyone else. Actually, everyone else wishes they could dance JUST LIKE YOU.

And you are SO effing funny. Everyone is laughing at what you say so you have to be the most hilarious person at the party.

Also, you somehow became the hottest person anyone has ever seen. Every time you take a glimpse at yourself in the mirror during the 50 trips to the bathroom you have somehow morphed yourself into Giselle.

You are hot. Funny. A great dancer. Just the all around life of the freakin party.



Man, I thought I was too old to look back on a night and feel like this!