I heard the sound of something moving around the room this morning- the gentle clip of feet on the hardwood floor- and peeked my head out from under the covers to see if Nicky the Fish had left the bathroom. The door was still closed.

I moved around a little more to position myself so I could see if anyone or any"dog" had traipsed into the room. The French doors had been left open from the night before and the dogs- two lovely Rottweilers- were currently residing on the upstairs porch as the two Portuguese construction workers weren't too fond of their "if you touch that gate I will rip you to shreds" barks. I don't think P and P were too fond of them invading their yard.

I wondered if young P had been shopping but decided not to worry about it. I still had a few more minutes of shuteye before NTF came pouncing back in the room to drag me out of bed.

Flash to 15 minutes later:
(Beginning to smush things back into overnight bag.)
IG: Baby, where are my panties?
NTF: I don't know, they were right there (pointing to my pile of clothes on the floor) when I went to the bathroom.
IG: I think P has been shopping in here. She's taken my panties!
NTF: Don't blame her. She's a good girl. Are you sure you haven't already picked them up.
(Pulling out clothes from overnight bag. Shaking. Searching through overnight bag. Nothing)
IG: Oh, crap, there probably in your father's room. My pink panties, laying in a heap right on your father's floor.

NTF did not want to think that his precious Rottweiler could have even thought to pick up a pair of panties just calling to her from the floor.

On the other hand, he was also probably thinking his silly girlfriend shouldn't have left them laying in the floor in clear view of his Rottweiler.

Once I'd dressed I went out on the patio in the hopes they had been left out there. Out of clear view of NTF's father. Not there.

NTF went to say goodbye to his father and I told him to stealthily examine the bedroom floor for my panties. Not there either.

I really, really hoped now that they hadn't fallen out of her mouth and on to the grass below the upstairs patio when she'd been barking at the construction workers earlier. Nice surprise in the concrete.

I went downstairs and scanned the yard. Not there. NTF looked in the kitchen while I searched through the living room. Not there either.

Only other options were that she'd hidden them somewhere (Oh, I prayed to the G-O-D that if she'd hidden them somewhere, it was somewhere really good where NO ONE would ever find them) or she'd swallowed them.

Now, there's a distinct possibility NTF will go home tonight and find them. On the front lawn.

They just might not be in the same capacity I may have thought earlier.

Especially if she'd swallowed them.

Gross.